Sunday, February 26, 2012

The Hunt: Part 1

     My name is Theodore Greyson. Friends call me Ted, and when there is more than one in a room, Ted Grey. I work in an office at an advertising agency, a simple nine to five desk job. At five I come home and pick my daughter up from her friends house, where she stays after she gets out of school. She is 8 years old. I lost my wife in a mugging not too long ago. I was not with her when this happened. I heard the news later in the day. She had been stabbed several times coming home from a grocery store that wasn’t too far from the house. They never caught the guy, and our daughter was still waiting at the elementary school to be picked up.

     However, I made it work. It was hard for a while, and little Jane was confused for a while, but I was able to talk to her, to tell her that mommy had to go away for a while, that it wasn’t because of her. I didn’t lie to her, and she would learn the whole truth when it was appropriate, I just didn’t want any of it to scar my little girl, to let her life be altered or ruined by an event that wasn’t any of our faults, It wouldn't have been right or fair to her.

     I started working harder at my job, got a raise or two to help out and get some help. Elizabeth, my little girl’s friend’s mother, was really sweet with caring for her while I was still in work. I helped around the house, learned to cook, tried to help her with her homework whenever she needed it. It was working out. It was hard, like any single parent will tell you, but it was working. And, at the end of the day, beaten and sweating while trying to get some sleep, that was all I could ask for.

     Though she started going through that age where she learned how to fear, that there were scary things out there. More than once she was certain that something was watching her in the room, that there was a monster in her closet, a thing under the bed waiting to gobble her up. I was supportive. I showed her that there was nothing to be afraid of. Opened the closet, checked under the bed, bought her a nightlight. She even had nightmares a couple of times, but I got up to console her, to make sure she knew that everything was ok, that nothing could hurt her. It happened on and off for a while, the bad dreams and fear spats.

     One night, the night before my supervisor was doing evaluations, I heard my little girl calling for me. Woke me up and startled me, so I pushed myself out of bed, put on slipper, and walked up to my little girls room. I was annoyed, this had been going on for a while and I needed rest so I could get good marks on my evaluation, but I couldn’t do anything about it, kids get scared.

     I walk half asleep into the room, but something is wrong. There is a figure standing by little girls bed, back facing me. It looked like a man at first, but as the shock forced me awake, I noticed something. It was black, pure black, Like someone made shadow solid. It was tall, taller than me, and very thin. It had one long arm dangling at its side, reaching below its knees, and its fingers ended in pointed tips, while another is rested on the bed in front of it. I faltered, but caught myself, but the noise caught its attention. It jerked its head in my direction. Its face was flat. It has no nose, only wide, bloodshot yellow eyes. Perfectly round discs, each the size of a tennis ball. Then, it smiled. Its face split open into a big, toothy grin. Its teeth were rotten, much longer than they were wide, and a woody yellow, with stains of red.

      It keeps staring at me as a red, thick liquid starts to slowly flow out of its mouth, out from the cracks in its teeth, still smiling. “Daddy?” I hear weakly from the bed. I can tell she is terrified, that she doesn’t know whats going on, wondering why Daddy lied to her. A quick movement, the hand on the bed moves like a whip and there is a quick ripping sound, the entire time it never taking its eyes off of me, continuing to smile. It starts giggling, a mockery of a woman's voice squeals out from between its cracked teeth. “Daddy” I hear gurgle at me again as the arm whips again in response.

      And then I ran away.

To be continued......


  1. "to make sure she new that everything was ok"

    = knew

    Also, the change from past to present tense seems random (to me). I'm not sure if it's supposed to change in the middle of a paragraph like that.

    What I would is take your last two sentences from the 5th paragraph, and incorporate them into your 6th paragraph. Just make sure to remove the word "So" at that point, as it still indicates writing to an audience, instead of forcing a "reliving the event" effect you seem to be wanting.

  2. Great, another blog without edit functionality!

    "What I would do"

  3. Thanks for the Comments. Yeah, I noticed that something was wrong the the tense the other day, but couldn't pinpoint where the problem was.

    Question though, Are you a english teacher or something? Just curious.

  4. Nope, just some harry potter looking motherfucker.